Filed under: Fetish & the Internet | Tags: adult erotica, BDSM, content, erotic, fem dom, fetish, film, internet, pornography addiction, sex
Christie Brinkley’s divorce from 4th husband Peter Cook got salacious and nasty, with revelations that his use of internet porn got completely out of hand. I guess most men would wonder why anybody married to an internationally renowned beauty like Brinkley would even want to indulge in the old one-handed mouse movement game. And the answer is, of course, he couldn’t stop himself. Somehow, the thrill of internet porn over-whelmed the reality of being married to one of the world’s most beautiful women.
For someone like myself, who has made a living in adult entertainment, it’s probably unusual to question an addiction to pornography – in fact, the conventional wisdom amongst pornographers is that if you can “get ‘em hooked” you’ll continue to make money. But putting yourself into the position of a “pusher” dealing in an addictive substance is not my idea of good business or good sense. Firstly, to prey on human weakness is vile and unrewarding. Secondly, to ‘use’ addiction as the means by which you sell your product results in one thing only. The seller’s contempt of the buyer.
When you think about how addiction works (leaving aside chemical and psychological issues), most addiction occurs when the initial ‘high’ cannot be replicated without larger or more frequent doses. This is where the argument that exposure to soft core pornography inevitably leads to hard core arises, just as marijuana is seen as a ‘gateway’ to heroin. My response has always been that the vast majority of pornography (and let’s call it that rather than using the euphemism of “adult entertainment”) does not satisfy. And when content doesn’t satisfy, the user keeps searching. Given that the average internet sex addict spends a minimum of 10 hours a week surfing adult content, it seems to me that there’s a lot of folks out there relentlessly looking for, and failing to find, material that satisfies.
The critics will say that pornography can never satisfy a sexual need. I can’t agree with that. Human sexual nature develops in ways that are unique to individuals. Early life circumstances, events and imprinting incidences contain the seeds of how an individual’s sexual characteristics are developed and refined. It is entirely wrong to say, for instance, that someone’s fascination with a particular style of shoe cannot be part of a healthy, “normal” sexuality. It would also be incorrect to state that in the absence of the shoe, an image of the shoe would not bring some degree of satisfaction. Even male parrots become aroused at a two-dimensional representation of a female parrot. The human brain is capable of much more than a parrot’s. Well – in most cases.
The quick Carl La Fong solution to internet sex addiction? Better content. More focused content. And above all, educating the viewer into realizing that some content providers have contempt for them and their “interests”. It’s an easy enough thing to spot, once you know what to look for. Or once you’ve seen content that truly respects your interest.
And just so my critics won’t think I’m entirely without morals, I’d urge everyone who feels that they might have an internet sex addiction to get some help. Not getting help is tending to result in a lot of divorces and more than a few job dismissals. And for those of you in a Relationship, the message from the Carl La Fong Advice desk is; You Must Tell Your Partner. I know that sounds scary so I’ll let you roll that one around for a while and we’ll come back to this topic in more detail when you’ve had some time to consider that idea.
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