Filed under: BDSM, Fetish & the Internet | Tags: domination, fem dom, female domination, fetish, gyncocracy
Central to the Carl La Fong style is how to interpret the nature of ‘female domination of the male’. In my searches around the ‘adult’ web, I rarely find anything that truly reflects the fem dom fetish as I understand it.
My views on ‘faux’ fetish have already been expressed in earlier posts. True fem dom fetish requires models able to deliver the correct attitude with sincerity – not simply by snarling and cracking a bullwhip while dressed in cheap latex.
Fem Dom isn’t always about brutality – just as male domination of submissive females isn’t about beating someone until they bleed, or choking them dangerously.
Once again, I think we’re in an area where the people who are providing much of the content (with some obvious exceptions) don’t understand what they’re dealing with. I’d be prepared to bet that the majority of men interested in being dominated by a superior female aren’t that interested in the more extreme and violent aspects of the game. Yet that’s mostly what’s being delivered to us by content providers.
Long ago and far away, there was a self-published magazine out of someplace like West Virginia called ‘Gynocracy’. It held true to the belief that men could be held in thrall by full-dressed dominant women whose every command was obeyed – under the threat of mild-to-severe corporal punishment, strict discipline, bondage, feminization, “queening” and the with-holding of orgasm.
The focus was on a relationship between the domme and the sub, that didn’t require the virtual maiming or bodily injury that seems so prevalent in today’s fetish culture.
This idea of a “relationship” (which, to be fair, Kink.com tries hard to foster) meant that the concept of Respect between domme and sub was truly important. Again, precious little of current content attempts to portray that vital component.
Once that component is in place – either in real-life or fantasy content, and provided it is portrayed authentically and sincerely, it opens up a whole new experience for both domme and sub.
It is entirely possible for the most exquisite sensations to be discovered in the presence of a non-nude domme – if the domme presents herself with an attitude that demands Respect.
I, for one, would want content that explored that concept and attitude – rather than the quick, shorthand of brutality and extreme posturing, which entirely lacks credibility. When I look for fem dom content, I’m quickly passing over the extreme and the nasty. Not because I’m a prude – but because it’s not Fem Dom! Female Domination is a head-game played between Sub and Domme. You don’t need a pair of pliers and vice. You just need the implication of severity. You don’t even need nudity. In fact, lack of nudity is probably more arousing to the true sub.
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